Stormtroops
by TyDye15
Summary: I'm experimenting with a Military Sitcom about Storm Troopers. Not everything about the Military is war and glory, sometimes its bureaucracy and politics. Join Trai and Drax as they endure the eternal stupidity any Military suffers through. Warning: Rated M for Strong Language not Suitable for a General Audience.


**A long time ago in a Not so Epic tale...**

* * *

**Death Star**  
Many rooms require the presence and security of a Stormtrooper, whether it would be for protection or for just the mere intimidation of those with a weak heart. Two Stormtroopers stand near a door "guarding" it however for reasons about to be explained.

"Did the Platoon Sergeant really just have us guard the door so we can look busy?" A voice filled with annoyance speaks

"Yup, that happened, Drax." Replies an equally annoyed Stormtrooper

"What the fuck?!" The other groans in frustration

]"We're in the hall." the other hisses.

"I don't care, I hate everything about this shit."

While remaining in guard position he asks, "Well then why did you enlist?"

"I signed up to fight the rebellion and instead I'm stationed on the Empire's biggest waste of credits." The other soldier holds his rifle down range towards the ground rather than the up position normal for guarding in strict environments. Seeing nobody around, the other soldier follows suit.

"Well, no argument there, Private."  
"Can you stop calling me that, Drax?"

"Whatever. I could really use a drink right now."

Drax nods, "So, Trai?"

"Yeah?" The other soldier asks in annoyance.

"You ever thought about how these helmets are supposed to be so advanced and yet, we can't see shit out of these?"

"Yeah, wait...are you still bitching about your target score?"

"It was bullshit, Trai! That cock sucking Lieutenant had no right in denying me a second try."

"Drax, these helmets are shit, just spray and pray like everyone else does."

"What if the Rebellion does get a real army?"

The other soldiers scoffs, "Are you serious? They're barely escaping every time a Star Destroyer shows up, and every base we see we blow up."

"I mean, Trai, they're Jedi."

"Yeah and?"

"The Jedi want to destroy the Imperial way of life."

The other soldier rebukes him, "Not appropriate work conversation, Drax. And Jedi are extinct anyway, there's no such thing as Radical Jedi wanting to overthrow the Empire. If you actually believe the crap the Imperial News Network says, I seriously doubt your intelligence."

"Who do you listen to, Al Derana?"

"Actually I don't listen to any Inner Rim News Networks. I listen to IGN, they tend to be more neutral and don't really take a stand point because what do they have to lose?" Trai explains.

"You mean the InterGalactic News? Well, generally Naboo is pretty neutral after Order 66."

"Holy shit, you know history. Maybe Corellia isn't such a shit hole."

"Hey, Corellia is the best damn planet in the galaxy. Everyone knows the Empire would be nothing without Corellia."

Trai scoffs yet again, "You're seriously fucking stupid, you know that?"

"Suddenly an Imperial officer approaches them wearing Lieutenant's insignia, the troopers saluting him as he approaches.

"Good day, sir."

"Sergeant VR320, leave DA121 here and follow me to my office, now!"

* * *

**Lieutenant Pesk's Office**  
The Lieutenant sits in his desk while the Sergeant sits with his helmet taken off and placed in his lap to reveal a raven haired man with a comb-over and steel grey eyes. The Lieutenant sports a buzz cut with black hair. His nasal accent didn't help with his ridiculous thin, pencil whipped appearance.

"Are you familiar with Fraternization, Sergeant?"

"I am, sir."

"Are you not technically fraternizing with your soldier, Sergeant?"

"Negative, sir."

"Do I hear, disrespect, Sergeant?"

"Negative sir, it says in AR350 that the definition of Fraternization is conducting activities with an individual or select soldiers included but not limited to social gatherings, living arrangements or other activities that would otherwise involve personal life."

"Well then, I could still bust you under the Equal Opportunities Clause for speaking negatively against the Imperial News Network and talking derogatively of a soldier's home world. I'm counseling you for this and you will sign it."

"Sir, this is bantha fodder!" The soldier raises his voice towards the officer.

"Sergeant, sign the Counseling Statement or I'm recommending an Article 15."

"What the...Yes, sir." He sighs frustrated looking at the digital pad before him reading the contents of the document.

"Remember Sergeant, this is my world. I am in charge of the Administration Room and it will be kept to standard, am I clear?"

"Yes, sir." Trai stands up to salute the Lieutenant and leaves the office as soon as the Lieutenant salutes back with a smug look.

Trai puts his helmet on getting his rifle out of its leg slot heading back to the room entrance, "Fucking desk jockey."

The Sergeant leans against the wall back to his post. Drax asks, "You good, Trai?"

"Fucking Pesk."

* * *

What do you guys think, good premise for a Military Sitcom?


End file.
